


Happy Burger-Day to You

by cactusWrites



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cooking, Fluff, Food, Jughead/Hamburgers, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 11:06:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10188572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cactusWrites/pseuds/cactusWrites
Summary: It's Jughead's birthday and Archie and Betty are co-conspirators in a plot to make it the best day ever.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zoe_ena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoe_ena/gifts).



> The only ships in this are Jughead/Hamburgers and friendSHIP.

Jughead Jones the Third was not a big fan of birthdays, especially not his own. The last thing he wanted was to celebrate with a big party or even talk about it with anyone. The dream was a popcorn bucket and a day at the drive in, especially if he could sit in the booth and pick the movie. That was sadly not an option this year, so he was planning on ignoring the entire day as hard as he possible could and not think of the finiteness of his existence.

His friends, however, had other plans altogether. Betty and Archie were secretly discussing over lunch what to give him for his birthday on Saturday. They both knew he didn’t want a big party, but they entirely refused to let him be sad alone on his birthday. So they concocted a plan to surprise him in a way that would make him the most happy: food.

They wrote a long list of ingredients and on the Friday that followed they forced Fred Andrews to drive them to the big supermarket down the road, because the local market just wouldn’t cut it for what they had in store. Fred would be annoyed, but he also had a soft spot for the angry boy, so not only did he drive the teens, he ended up paying for most of the ingredients they’d picked up. He figured it was the least he could do after he gained a lot of work after putting Jughead out of a job; Andrews Constructions had really benefitted from the new contract they picked up from tearing down the Drive In. After buying all of the things, they started preparing for how to proceed with the plan. Jughead’s birthday wasn’t until tomorrow, but they wanted to get as much preparation done beforehand as they could so all they would have to do was actually cook and construct and somehow drag Jughead over to the Andrews’ house to be presented with the surprise. How that was going to happen, neither one of them knew, but they had a lot of Determination.

Having watched about 50 different tutorial YouTube videos about how to make the best burgers possible (or, as every YouTube Cook ever put it, the ULTIMATE burger) they had settled on something that looked like a perfect mix of achievable and delicious (so that damn sous vide technique was not going to happen). They were also going to make some oven baked potato fries, due to lack of a deep fryer and the fact that neither of them felt brave enough to deep fry on the stovetop. They were going to make a nice surprise, not burn down the Andrews’ house.

They figured that the easiest thing to prepare beforehand was to bake the vanilla cupcakes that would form the basis for the Hamburger Cupcakes they were planning for dessert. Betty was a pretty good baker, though her usual foray was cookies. They managed to follow the directions pretty well, though, and of course had to sneakily eat a little bit once they were out of the oven. Fred was summoned at the smell, grabbed one and tried it.

“Yes, these get the Fred Andrews seal of approval and you can proceed,” he said upon tasting it. Betty laughed, and took another bite of her own cupcake, before agreeing: “They’re great. It’s a good thing we doubled the batter, or Jug wouldn’t be getting a single cupcake tomorrow.” The clock had passed seven, so Betty thought she should head home before her mother flipped out at her again. Fred sighed, and immediately wished he could adopt all of Archie’s friends. Betty hugged Archie and was out the door and on her way across the street.

\---

Early the following morning, Betty snuck out and across the way and rang the doorbell of Archie’s house, ready to start prepping.

“Good morning!” Archie said when she walked past him into the hallway. They were both determined to get started on the food as soon as possible, so they went straight into the kitchen and started working on the rest of the meals. Betty grabbed the cupcakes they made last night and cut them into three pieces, melted chocolate and made the middle parts look like little, chocolatey burger patties. She also fixed all the condiment bits and made them out to be really nice-looking burger cupcakes and put them into the fridge to set. While she did all of that, Archie was stood on another corner of the kitchen chopping onions and chili and mixing in the meat and spices to turn into burgers. They knew in their hearts that they had to make a huge batch because a) Jughead had the biggest appetite of, possibly, any person on earth and b) they would be hungry too, and Fred probably wanted food as well. So Archie had grabbed the biggest bowl in the kitchen and started putting the ingredients into it. Once Betty was done with the cupcakes, she joined Archie with the burgers, mixing the perfect sauce to put on them once they were done.

When the burgers and bacon was finally cooking, they decided it was time to bring in Jug. Betty took the watch when Archie texted Jughead. “Hey Jug, want to come over and watch a movie? Your pick.” It took a while before he got a response; “At Pop’s, you’re free to join, but I’m mostly sulking.”

Archie recruited his father as a chauffeur and they drove over, leaving Betty behind to keep an eye on the food. Jughead was sitting in his regular booth, staring at his laptop with a scowl.

 “Jug, let’s go,” Archie said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

Jughead looked up at him and went “What?”

“Let’s. Go.” Archie repeated, less convincing this time but still trying his best.

Jughead looked skeptical, but rolled his eyes, slapped his laptop shut and went “Sure. It’s not like I’m getting anywhere on this writing anyway.”

Archie tried his best to seem as casual as possible, but he couldn’t help himself from being a little more excited than normal to hang with his friend. Jughead sensed something was up, but he had no idea what Archie was planning and, frankly, knowing that Archie had a solid gold memory it made him a little bit worried about what sort of thing he might face over at the Andrews’ house. Still, it couldn’t be too bad considering that Fred was somehow in on it.

He grabbed the bag that contained all of his earthly belongings and left it by the counter. Pop nodded and took it to the kitchen for safekeeping. Pop was a good man, and he’d let Jughead stay the night at the diner ever since he caught on to the fact that Jughead had nowhere else to stay. “I’d let you stay at my place,” he’d said “but it barely has room for me.” Fred and Archie exchanged looks at the weird thing that just happened, and the moment they sat down in the car, Fred said: “What was that all about?”

Jughead shrugged and just said “Oh, it’s nothing.”

And even though, or maybe especially because, it was Jughead’s birthday, Fred looked at him and said, in a voice stricter than normal for the usually at least partly soft-spoken Fred: “Forsythe Jones the Third, you need to tell me what is going on right now.”

Archie looked at his father, surprised at the fact that he’d pulled out his Strict Dad Voice. So, evidently, was Jughead, and he especially cringed at being called by his particularly pretentious first name. “I’ve been sleeping in one of the booths at Pop’s.” Jughead said, matter-of-factly. “Approximately since the Drive-In, the place where I used to live, shut down.” The Andrews men looked at each other in shock.

“Holy shit, Jughead, why didn’t you tell me?” said Archie.

Jughead shrugged again, “You seemed to have enough on your plate and it all worked out in the end anyway.”

Before Archie could respond, Fred interjected “Does FP know about this?”

“You ask that as if Dad has cared what’s happened to me in years.” Jughead responded. “He knew I moved out of the Drive-In and I haven’t seen him since.”

Fred sighed. “We have a guest room, Jughead. You’re more than welcome to live with us if you want to. We’d love to have you.”

Jughead didn’t respond, instead staring at the floor of the car. Fred sighed again, put the key in the ignition, and started driving them all home. He figured he would head back for Jughead’s backpack later, because there was no way that kid would be living in a damn restaurant if he had a say in it.

\---

Fred parked his car in the driveway in front of the house instead of by the garage in the back area, knowing he’d be out again soon, and they all walked back into the house. Archie could smell the burgers from the porch and shot Jughead a look. Jughead seemed lost in thought and hadn’t even noticed yet, which made Archie more worried than anything else that had happened that day so far. Opening the door and getting hit in the face with the aroma properly, Jughead looked up and looked at Archie, confused and hopeful.

Archie nodded and grabbed Jughead’s wrist and dragged him after into the kitchen. Betty lit up at their return, having starting assembling the burger/bun/lettuce/sauce/bacon-combo when she heard them rolling up in the driveway.

“Surprise,” she and Archie said, almost in unison, but just off tune enough to make it clear that they hadn’t really planned on how they would present the gift to their friend. “We made you burgers, from scratch and everything.” She added with a proud grin. Jughead wasn’t really sure how to respond, because this scenario was not on the mental list of shit that Archie could have possibly have planned that he’d been making in his head after being summoned from Pop’s. He looked from Betty to Archie in bewilderment.

“Happy birthday, Jug” said Archie, and Betty put a plate of five burgers (as many as she could fit on the plate, honestly) and quite a few of the oven baked potao fries in front of one of the chairs in the kitchen and Archie gestured for Jughead to sit, which he did. Archie took a seat, too, as did Betty, after putting a plate with one burger each down for them to eat.

“Try it!” Betty demanded, and ate a fry. Jughead mumbled “I can’t believe you guys did this,” and took a bite of one of the burgers. They both stared at him intensely, hoping to God the burgers were successfully delicious. The moment they could see him smile, they sighed a little out of relief, because that could only be a good sign. Shortly after he’d eaten the entire thing.

“Who knew the two of you could cook,” Jughead said in the middle of his third burger. “I still can’t believe this.” Archie had only gotten through half of his burger. He had a big appetite, too, but nobody could really measure up to Jughead, especially when it came to burgers. Plus, these things were a lot bigger than what Pop served. Betty had all but given up on hers, and was currently sipping some soda. “I’m glad you approve,” she said “We made the ultimate combined version of the internet’s ultimate burgers.” Archie laughed at the word ‘ultimate’, mostly because it sort of became an inside joke after about the fifth video titled “ultimate burger”. Jughead didn’t get it, but he nodded. It truly was ultimate. Ultimately delicious.

Fred stepped into the kitchen and dropped Jughead’s backpack on the floor next to the table. Then he grabbed the duplicate key off his keychain and put it in front of Jughead and said: “I prepared the guest room upstairs. Welcome to the family, kid.” Without saying anything more, he grabbed the now cold burger Betty had prepared for him and left on the counter, sat down at the table next to them and started eating. They were all suddenly startled when they heard Jughead sniffle. He wiped his cheeks off quickly with the back of his hand.

Betty looked at him, worried. Archie put his hand out on his shoulder, and said “Are you okay, buddy?”

Jughead just nodded his head intensely, trying not to start crying properly. “I’m just really happy, I can’t believe you guys did all of these amazing things for me,” he sighed. “You’re the best friends slash chosen family I could have ever asked for.”

“That’s it, we’re hugging,” said Betty and walked around the table and gestured for everyone to join. Archie didn’t have to be asked twice and grabbed Jughead from the other side, and even Fred got up and wrapped his big safe dad arms around them all.

“I don’t really like h---“ Jughead started to protest, but once enclosed within the arms of his favorite people, he didn’t complain. It felt nice and non-awkward and like home.

“There’s one more thing, though,” Betty said when they were done hugging. “One more birthday surprise.” She walked over to the fridge and grabbed the tray of burger shaped cupcakes and showed them off. Jughead stared at the tiny burgers, confused for a second, until he realized that they weren’t actually Proper Burgers.

“Wha….” Jughead started, and Archie cut in with a “They’re burger cupcakes. It’s the dessert. We’re going to eat them and some popcorn and watch a movie, like I promised you in that text message. Your choice.”

Jughead Jones the Third was currently reworking his stance on birthdays, which he’d firmly stood by for a while now. But, as it turns out, they don’t _have_ to suck. Sometimes birthdays can be a collection of greatness. He even got his bucket of popcorn and movie in the end and, even if it was for just a few hours, everything was perfect for everyone currently in the Andrews’ house.

**Author's Note:**

> The Burger Cupcakes are blatantly ripped off from The Scran Line and they are literally the cutest thing ever and 100% inspired this fic to happen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80x2Kb51KD1A 
> 
> Not really a big fan of the ending, might go through and edit this (there's probably a ton of typos too) when it is no longer 03:50 AM. But if I don't post it now I never will (mostly because I channeled a lot of my "why are we not addressing Jughead's homelessness"-frustration into it and that's supposedly going to happen in 1x07 tomorrow, thus rendering this useless), so here goes. Thanks for being a site I can post on at 4AM, AO3.


End file.
